Cross – – Worn – – Puzzle

Posted on July 30, 2015by 
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Ah.. the Joys of Being Banned from Hell..
after losing my emotions for five long years
with the worst pain known to mankind..
actually closer to 66 months..
named type two
Trigeminal Neuralgia
losing effective use of my hearing and sight..
as this pain is like a dentist drill without
novocaine in right eye and ear
during all walking hours..
Fibromyalgia..
Dysautonomia
and associated ‘coat hanger pain’..
where my blood pressure no longer synchs
with heart rate.. Sjogren’s Syndrome
where my eyes quit making tears
like swimming in salt water
with eyes wide open..
Spinal Stenosis
and Severe
Degenerative Arthritis
in my spine.. as precipitated
by a fused C-6 vertebra from birth..
Sinuses so closed up  later to be found
in a CAT scan by an ENT attempting
to get to the root of the pain in my face..
asking me how I can even breath..
as a deviated septum from birth
in nasal cavity is this severe..
and yeah.. obviously mostly
through my mouth..
and a little through my nose..
we make due with the challenges
of life and accommodate to survive
like all other animals do with
or WITHOUT doctors and such..
AND.. YES.. this perfect storm
of illness mostly precipitated by
chronic adrenal glands stuck
in the On position from CHRONIC STRESS
at work for 2 years.. also leads to Alexithymia
where language and emotion no longer connect..
Anhedonia with no feelings of pleasure in life..
Severe Depression.. Severe Anxiety.. PTSD..
all exacerbating an Autism Spectrum condition
and ADHD.. from birth that was not diagnosed
BACK THEN IN THEM DAYS when little boys
do not speak until age 4.. who move around
and around in a crib on their right toe all the time..
and having problems with oral speech thereafter
in putting all the social reciprocal communication stuff
together.. that I accommodate then.. well enough
in life to get to the higher pay grade
levels of Federal Civil Service
before retiring permanently
disabled from this life
threatening synergy of illnesses..
as yes.. Trigeminal Neuralgia is assessed
as the Suicide Disease as literally worse
thaN crucifixion in medical literature..
and remember.. dentist drill
without novocaine in right
eye and ear.. all
waking
hours for 66 months..
AND the first 40 days
when this synergy of illness
becomes unbearable there is
only 1 hour of sleep starting
that March of 2008 for the first 35
of 40 days with a powerful alpha blocker
to even get that 1 hour of extremely
shallow sleep.. then no sleep
for the last 5 of 40 and yes..
the rings of Dante’s Hell
of INFERNO growing
wider until
a
second
feels like a thousand years of paper thin REAL HELL EXISTENCE…
BEYOND ANY TERROR.. BEYOND ANY PAIN OF BURNING FLAMES OF MYTHOLOGICAL HELL.. NO WORDS DESCRIBABLE FOR THIS IN THE HUMAN LANGUAGE.. YES.. REAL HELL EXISTS.. AND REAL HEAVEN EXISTS..
there was a total of 19 medical disorders diagnosed and others diagnosed
that are not an issue for me.. then of real note.. and now for all practical intents
and purposes I live in HEAVEN.. AND NO DOCTOR CAN HELP ME THEN..
NO DRUGS WILL TOUCH THE PAIN.. I spend two years basically
in a dark room.. without that effective use of eyes and ears..
and then i manage to get on the Internet to
withstand the pain of a screen turned
all the way down in brightness with eyes
a few inches away as wearing prescription glasses
then increases the pain astronomically.. eventually being able
to walk around the block with shades on at 3AM.. where streetlights
still are pain like looking at the SUN.. but AGAIN THE ISSUE IS STRESS..
YES STRESS.. IS THE ORIGINATOR ALL OF ALL THIS HUMAN HELL..
CHRONIC SOCIAL STRESS AND ANXIETY OF WORRYING ABOUT
EVERYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG IN LIFE.. A FEELING
MOST ALL MY LIFE OF NOT BEING COMFORTABLE
IN MY OWN SKIN.. out of sorts of flesh and blood existence..
a mind separated from body out of balance.. emotions
not regulated properly or senses integrated properly..
problems with focus and short term
working memory.. that will make
my ability to be a short-order
cook or other job
like that almost impossible then..
without the predictable teat to suck on of analytical computer skills..
step by step visually lit up.. graphically interfaced in front of my face..
there is A WHOLE NEW DIMENSION OF LIFE FOR FOLKS STUCK
IN MECHANICAL COGNITION LIKE I WAS THEN
FOR FIVE YEARS.. IN OFFICE WORK
BEHIND A COMPUTER.. YES..
working in a
Military Bowling Center..
is TRULY THE BEST UNIVERSITY FOR ME THEN..
AS WELL AS FITNESS RELATED ACTIVITIES FOR
almost 2 decades that makes me more of a human being BACK then..
before I AM promoted AS slave to a computer and Adminstrative/Supervisory Duties.. for five years that lead me into the chronic stress.. including social stress TO REAL LITERAL HUMAN HELL.. SCHOOL AND THREE DEGREES.. AND A CHRONIC PERFECTIONIST OUTLOOK WAY BACK THEN.. TO MAKE STRAIGHT A’s.. makes me into a mechanical robot before THAT as well.. I learn the lesson of a lifetime that a Human HEART LIKE A BICEP IS A MUSCLE THAT WILL LOSE ITS STRENGTH IN ATROPHY OF HUMAN EMOTIONS.. IF NOT EXERCISED LIKE AN ARM CURL REGULARLY IN STRENGTH ROUTINE..
AND I TRY MY HARDEST TO STEP ON TOP
OF A DESK BACK AT THE ‘WRONG PLANET’
WEBSITE TO GET FOLKS ATTENTION..
THAT IS TRULY A SITE.. OVERALL..
FOR FOLKS WHO FALL INTO A TRAP
OF CULTURE THAT MAKES
HUMAN INTO ROBOT INSTEAD OF LOVE..
AND TELL THESE FOLKS IN EVERY WAY
I CAN IMAGINE
AND CREATE THAT THERE TRULY IS A CURE
TO LOSING ONE’S HUMANITY CALLED IMAGINATION..
CREATIVITY.. IN GREATER PHYSICAL INTELLIGENCE
OF REGULATING EMOTIONS AND INTEGRATING SENSES..
AS WELL AS INCREASING FOCUS AND SHORT TERM WORKING
MEMORY FOR GREATER COGNITIVE EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING
TO FINALLY BE COMFORTABLE IN ONE’S OWN SKIN.. AND YES..
I SCREAM IT FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOP THAT THE ANSWER
CAN BE AS SIMPLE IN FREE STYLE FLOWING DANCE..
YES DANCE..! AND IN FINALLY REGULATING
EMOTIONS THAT FLOW THROUGH THE
BODY FROM VAGAL NERVE OF BRAIN TO GUT..
AKA THE KUNDALINI SERPENT IN METAPHOR AND MYTH
IN HISTORY TOO.. THERE ARE AN INFINITE NUMBER OF
CONNECTIONS OF METAPHOR OF CHAKRAS IN THE HUMAN
BODY IN NUANCES OF EMOTIONS OF BLISS TO BE EXPERIENCED
IN LIFE.. IT’S NOT JUST CONCENTRATING ON 7 POINTS OF THE BODY..
AS OUR HUMAN BODIES ARE LIKE AN INFINITY OF INTERCONNECTING INTERDEPENDENT RELATIONSHIPS OF NEURONS THAT SING LIKE AN ORCHESTRA IN CONCERT.. ABOVE AND SO BELOW IN UNIVERSAL FLOW..
I WILL NEVER EVER PERFECT MOVEMENT AS DANCE.. AS THERE ARE AN INFINITE NUMBER OF COMBINATIONS IN THE MOVEMENT
OF OUR MICROCOSM UNIVERSE OF BODY AS WELL.. AS ALL THE
CONNECTIONS OF UNIVERSE IN INFINITY FLOW.. YES.. WE ARE A
REFLECTION OF GOD AS A UNIVERSE UNTO ITSELF.. AND
IN FEELING AND KNOWING THIS SO CLEARLY
IF YOU HAVE GOOD
NEWS LIKE THIS.. WOULDN’T YOU
WANT TO SCREAM IT WITH
ALL CAPS TOO… Yes.. Neil the Science Guy says that in the video
in ‘Symphony of Science’ below.. when he finds that we are the star stuff of
the Universe too.. AND ALL CONNECTED AS WELL WITH
THAT IN INTERDEPENDENT
RELATIONSHIP.. but imagine how
loud he WILL scream if he CANN feel the Universe
THINK AND FEEL… AND THAT MY FRIENDS
IS THE NIRVANA ..THE BLISS.. THE KINGDOM
OF HEAVEN ON EARTH FOR HUMAN.. THE
KUNDALINI SERPENT COME ALIVE..
AND WHEN ONE BECOMES
THE UNIVERSE UNTO ITSELF..
AS WITH GOD AND AS ONE FORCE
OF LIFE FOR NOW.. ONE IS BANNED
FROM HELL FOREVERNOW.. and ENTERS
HEAVENFOREVERMORENOW.. and i go back
to the human hell of the ‘Wrong Planet’ website
back in July of 2013.. after I am banished
from the Universe of Hell of separation
from the Universe as GOD.. I experience
before THAT.. YES two years I
spend in that DAMNED place
of unwanted toys of humanity..
for a total now of 56 months..
overall.. since November 26th of 2010..
TRYING MY DAMN BEST TO LITERALLY
SAVE THEM FROM A HELL
OF ROBOTIC EXISTENCE..
TRYING TO WAKE THEM UP AND ENLIGHTEN
THEM IN EVERY WAY I CAN.. AND ALONG THE WAY
my freedom of expression is limited more and more..
first not allowed to ‘preach’ this message
in creative posts of my own..
then limited to not
be able to provide
blog posts that prove
my points.. as evidence provided
in my real life FLESH AND BLOOD
existence.. then not being able to link
youtube videos of personal achievements
that ALSO prove my points for the existence
of this Nirvana.. this Bliss.. and then i am
not allowed to accentuate posts
with CAPS like this.. and truly I get happy
to get further distanced FROM hell.. so
much MORE.. I get a
white Nike GPS Sports
watch to replace the black one that now
has measured 3900 miles of dance walking
a martial arts free style of ballet everywhere
I go in public.. and white Nike SHOX shoes
to replace the black ones.. to celebrate my
move away further from the
WRONG PLANET OF HELL THEN..
but the owner gives me that privilege back
TO ACCENTUATE EMOTIONS WITH CAPS..
SO again so I try to LIGHT folks UP with
emotional language again.. spending
hours of artistic creative efforts
in attempts to get the message
through.. and then the literal
thinking moderators
who canNOT
understand
metaphors
in human language
for emotions hardly at all..
finally ban me.. for expressing
emotionalism and creativity there..
for a month now.. July 26.. precisely
56 months since i start my path there..
and for three months.. last year
out of hell.. too from
April to July..
over a misunderstanding of human
reciprocal social emotional communication then..
as well.. and so now.. a month from now.. i COULD..
go back and try to communicate THIS message
with no imagination and creativity
of metaphors.. no accentuation
of HUMAN EMOTIONAL
communication.. no
evidence.. of this
nirvana and bliss..
i could communicate like
a robot again like them..
BUT NO! SO LET IT BE WRITTEN
HERE SO LET IT BE DONE.. NOW..
I WILL NEVER POST ANOTHER WORD
IN THE WRONG PLANET OF HELL.. I WILL
DUST MY SANDALS OFF NOW..
AND IF ANYONE THERE
WANTS HELP..
THEY CAN COME
TO ME TO ASK FOR IT
OR READ IT HERE.. I AM
NOT GOING BACK TO HELL. AGAIN..
TWO STRIKES.. THEY ARE OUT..
THEY ARE ON THEIR OWN NOW IN HELL NOW…
Anyway.. i will focus on EXPRESSING LIGHT and LOVE now..
HERE.. i will visit and READ HELL NOW AND THEN..
FOR INSPIRATION HERE.. and if THEY.. T
HE FOLKS TRAPPED IN HELL..
want to FEEL that inspiration HERE..
they can visit HEAVEN WITH ME..:)
I’ve spent a lot of time and effort trying to help those
folks in WRONG PLANET HELL.. 8005 posts at an
average of around 1000 words EACH POST..
equals about 8 million words..
the Bible has approximately 800 thousand words..
so yeah.. it’s like writing 10 bibles to help some folks..
truly that is just another job of JOB LIKE ABOVE..
SO BELOW HERE.. and I FEEL THE HAND
OF OF GOD RELEASING ME
FROM THAT CROSS NOW..
and this strange and severe shoulder pain
i have in my right shoulder from carrying
that cross is finally literAlly going away too..
AND I CELEBRATE.. AS BEFORE I FEEL
THAT JOY OF RELEASE FROM THAT WRONG
PLANET HELL.. MIGHT ONLY COME ONCE IN
A BLUE MOON.. AND YES.. TODAY IS THE BLUE MOON..
THIS NEW BLUE MOON OF MINE IS STAYING
AND NOT GOING AWAY..
THE JOY IS HERE..
AND I AIN’T GOING
BACK TO ORATE
IN WRONG PLANET HELL..
YEAH.. YA CAN CALL ME
LUCIFER IF YA LIKE.. THE LIGHT
OF LUCIFER IS NOT APPRECIATED IN HELL
AT ALL.. SO USING THAT METAPHOR OF LIGHT
THAT HAS BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO DARK BY HELL folks
AS ANTI-CHRIST LITERAL THINKING ‘JEWS’ TOO.. LUCIFER IS ON PERMANENT VACATION NOW FROM WRONG PLANET HELL.. and yeah for folks in the know..
there is now a real show about that too.. ON TV hehe.. i’m just the real thing
in metaphor only please.. EVEN IF I AM BORN ON 6-6-60.. SO BOO!
LITERAL THINKING ‘JEWS’! WITH CLOTHES OF CHRISTIANS ON..
to be clear that’s just a metaphor.. JEWS ARE COOL.. AND SO ARE ANTI-CHRIST CHRISTIANS AS THEY SIMPLY DO NOT KNOW AND MOST IMPORTANTLY FEEL WHAT THEY DO AND WHAT THE TRUTH AND LIGHT EVEN IS IN FEELING THAT TRUTH AND LIGHT IN FLESH AND BLOOD REALITY IN HEAVEN NOW.. with no promises after life.. of THAT AS THAT IS NOW AND NOW IS ALL THAT EVER EXISTS NOW1!..:)
I’LL STAY HERE IN HEAVEN NOW!
AND ‘SPEAK’ IN LOVE AND LIGHT NOW! TERMS..
i will finish off the WORN CROSS PUZZLE WITH THIS..
AND AFTER THAT I AM OFF TO MORE HEAVEN IN POETIC
RESPONSES TO POEM’S OF LOVE AND DARK.. and an ANGEL OF LIGHT NAMED ‘HIM AL IS HAH’.. WITH A PLAY IN WORDS ON HER NAME HIMALI SHAH BY ME THAT EXPRESSES HER ENLIGHTENED AND AWAKENED EXISTENCE WITHIN AS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.. WITH ANOTHER METAPHOR NAMED GOD AS ALLAH.. comes to me with a gift OF LIGHT this week..
of friendship.. as there IS NO FRIENDSHIP IN HELL..
MY FRIENDS.. AND THAT IS WHY THEY CALL IT
‘THE WRONG PLANET’.. MY FRIENDS..
I live on the Right Planet ALWAYS NOW..
and THAT is LOVE and never
HATE NOW MY FRIENDS..
and if anyone ever from Hell
otherwise known AS THE WRONG
PLANET ONLINE.. OR OTHER
PLACES LIKE THAT IN ‘SOUTHERN
BAPTIST CHURCHES’ TOO..
wants to come here and
truly be my friend..
the door is always open..
and so IS MY MIND AND BODY IN BALANCE OF TOUGH UNCONDITIONAL PASSIONATE LOVE..:)
And I am ALSO going to dedicate this post to my friend Brian from
dVerse ONLINE Poetry Pub.. who gave me the courage to truly go out
on a limb to stand on a desk with my free verse nude poetry..
in a Poet’s Pub “Meeting at the Bar” then aDdressing
the Movie a “Dead Poet’s Society” with Robin Williams..
where the rules of poetry are thrown out.. and one is invited to practice
life differently as dancing in the streets and seeing the world from different views..
like the top of a desk.. or in my case dancing naked online to celebrate AND OPENLY EXPRESS TO THE ENTIRE WORLD.. in adult restricted link of course..
the passion of being human in the flesh and blood reality that is WHAT
some folks sweep under the carpet as socially inappropriate..
or even evil at times..’ my cat(s) roll(s)’ around in the noon day
sun totally naked.. and ‘he’ rolls around on the Blue Moon
Night FREE LIKE THAT AS WELL..
hugging the grass of GOD’s
LEAVES.. AS POETRY IN FUR AND FLESH..
Science AND A SYSTEMIZING RULE BASED MIND.. is a worthy scribe at an attempt to measure GOD.. BUT.. the immeasurable pArt of GOD can be found in ALL free style poetic expression of heART from head to toe.. as SpiRit expressed in mind and body balance of a soUl awaKening enLiGhTening and TRULY ALIVE.. IT IS NO DIFFERENT THEN the metaphors of the beautiful 800K words of the bible truly.. where folks who have little heart.. little spirit.. and weak souls.. take it literal instead of AS the HEaRT the bible is.. the bible is a book of free verse poetry.. including psalms and parables.. expressing the Dark and Light as Spirit in poetic words of humanities heart and soul.. expressing THIS in spirit of metaphor of emotional and creative ART in HEART.. and as with ArT In poetry.. painting.. singing.. dancing alike.. the meanings are only as deep as the soul can see.. some folks never get below or above the surface to see the REAL SUN OF LIFE.. THAT LIVES WITHIN.. NAMED
GOD..
CHRIST CONSCIOUSNESS..
NIRVANA..
BLISS.. AWAKENING
THE KUNDALINI
SERPENT
KI.. CHI..
QI..GREAT SPIRIT!..
THE METAPHORS
ARE AS INFINITE
AND WIDE FOR THE
TRUTH AND LIGHT
AND THE
ESSENCE
OF THIS
AS MY WORDS..
AND THE WORDS
OF OTHERS CAN GO..
AND YES.. THAT IS
INFINITY NOW..
COMPRISING
ALL OF
WHAT
GOD
IS
NOW..:)
YES.. THERE IS A BIG
BANG ABOVE..
AND YES..
THERE IS
A BIG BANG
BELOW..
IN EVERY HUMAN
WHO AWAKES IN
ENLIGHTENED
FLOW
WITH
GOD
NOW!
And as promised to
Rachel and her friends
last night who I attempt
to orate this to..
in the parking
lot.. of
Old Seville
Quarter.. who
TAKE IT IN..
UNDERSTAND..
Appreciate
it in eyes and
words.. i ALSO
will dedicate
this to my newest
connection of
humanity
in life..
RACHEL AND
HER FRIENDS..
LAST NIGHT..
AND OF COURSE
ET AL.. as
ALL OTHERS
WHO CONTINUE
TO INSPIRE ME
WITH LOVING
EYES AND
HATING
EYES..
AS
WELL..:)
And if your are reading
and are not a blogger i
highly encourage
opening up
and letting
all your feelings
out in words AND OTHER
WAYS OF AUDITORY AND
VISUAL ART OF HUMAN SPIRIT
TO THE World.. ThERE’s HUMAN
FORCE in symbols of emotions..
IT truly is not a power that
should be kept selfish.. and
yes.. there is power in passion
of naked flesh as the core of
our sensuality.. as human
beings and to express
THAT is our
human nature
as gifted
BY
GOD AS NATURE FROM
SELFIES OF THE
‘NORMAL’ VARIETY
TO THE EXTREME
‘PASSIONATE
SELFIES’ I
DO.. AS FREE
VERSE POETIC
VISUAL NUDE
ART..
THAT IS
NEVER EVER
EVIL AS LONG
AS THAT IS
CONSENSUALLY
SHARED ALIKE..
WITH NO HARM
DONE TO OTHERS..:)
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