Showing posts with label Charlie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Charlie. Show all posts

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Autistic Love Letters





Father 35, Sister 6, Me 7



Ryan Poem written
by my Mother,
pictured
at age
17.
...


Love Letter,




...
After Writing
through
Night

and
mourning
about L of Letter of Love,





A ‘wake-up’
letter C
for Call

and thank you
 
for Card

prepared by

‘The K’;

signed by one
in Quick Scratch
of one Letter in
'Oneword' of
L for Love.


It is another Day…


Too easily Forgotten...


For another F


For a ‘Friend’ of D


in Distance


Called Daddy
in ‘Real Life’.


62032 is BD.


Another D

for Day
is Here...


One is
Finally
able to Connect
in more than three
Letters of Word
in

ILY...


A Way
to more Fully
Find FamILY

instead of famILiar...


It is not Intentional
 
But Sad and True...


Thank you L,
for a Letter of Love
in Finding a Living
‘Why’ of Will
For Living
‘Years’...


Thanks again,
M & C

For providing a Clear
R For Reminder
of Saying..

‘Band’ Aid too!..
http://katiemiaaghogday.blogspot.com/2013/06/visiting-garden-of-band-aid.html


Far past ‘That Bridge’
one Fully does not Find...

Thank
One!

in the Living 5 Years ago...


There is Clear Peace
of Conscience

Now
in One.

For D,
‘The K’,
and L
for

Love,

And G
for R
of Ryan,

For Finally
Finding
W For
Way

of

Adequately
Grieving

To Say

Good
bye…


All
it takes
For Some
People
Is
3
Let-
ter-
s.

For
Three
Words.

One Finds It
https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=141701339357737&id=113288312199040
In an Online Path of 5 Million Words… and Decades of Life…
One Only One Knows How many ‘Letters’…
After All Is Said And Done…

It Is About
http://katiemiaaghogday.blogspot.com/2013/06/path-to-e-soul.html

CONTACT!!!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pfOFCUjmEU


To Connect
With More
Than one.


And
Y
e
s,*
It
IS
About
Autism...
http://katiemiaaghogday.blogspot.com/2013/06/autistics-peeks.html

Too.  https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=141824419345429&id=113288312199040
...
*



Us at 34 and 44
(K does not age)




Us at 19 and 29


Letters Long Ago...


Top Left: 
C for Charlie, best
and close to only friend in middle school.

Top and Middle Right:
S, first 'girl friend',
the 'Cuban' one at 15 and me at 18.
(She was years ahead of me in emotional maturity)

Bottom Right:
  Me 17, with no 'girl friends'.

 Middle Bottom:
  Me 12, nothing stays the same.

Bottom Left:
  S for Sister 2, Me 3,
still deliriously happy.

Middle Left: 
Me  6, the smile leaves my face
with family friend 'Uncle Ed';
my first experience of losing
someone I loved;

he was a father
and grandfather
figure to me.

Top Middle:
'girl friend' M,
the 'Italian' one at 16, Me at 21.
Most interestingly she was "the K's"
nurse when she was recovering from
surgery after childbirth.

I had not seen her in over
15 years.  Her child was born
blind.  She blamed herself for it.
She cautioned me not to blame
myself for Ryan's problems.

I took her advice to heart.

"The K" liked "M",
as a compassionate
person and nurse.

Middle Middle:
'mostly friend'  R,
the 'Guamanian' one at 16;
with a 'different mind' like mine

She took her life
in her 20's.

It is too sad.


The child that receives nothing but love from a mother
develops a sacred respect for the opposite sex.

'Letters' about S and K are linked above
in the first permalink in the comments section.

The video below is from the actual beach that
I roamed in the years above until I met the first
dark haired girl S, at age 18.

I forgot about the beach; I forgot about school,

There was only one thing that mattered;
Dark haired girls.

I had a new
special
interest.

It was
no longer school.

The video below reflects
my greatest loves in life.

Dark haired girls

and the

beach.

The first one broke a heart
that was never quite the same again.

Dark haired
'foreign' girls
have always been

"the Captain of my heart".



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8sMn1jN-EM

The second video
"Sara"

captures
a feeling of loss,
better than anything
I have seen.

Sometimes the only friend a child
has is a mother and siblings.

I don't like to see parents disrespected.

They are the ONLY 'life' for some people
on the Autism
Spectrum.


It is hard to live without love.

Especially for people who cannot
easily connect with others.


It doesn't matter how
blonde, blue
or 'smart'
one is. 

Without communication;
it is hard to find connection.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sM4Tu47Z0v0
...



Postscript:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=142170349310836&id=113288312199040
...


I keep thinking about the person who stood up and defended me
when
no one else in this online world seemed to care!

She wants to stay anonymous which I respect
but the fact is I do not gain
this far
in
life if this Good Samaritan
does
not
come!

Perhaps it is just as well
that she remains
unnamed!

  It is the Anonymous
Good
Samaritan's
that make this
life
worthwhile!

She puts up a new picture
today on her Facebook page
that
is remarkable in strength for any face!

It is true that she looks like the woman below!
This is in honor of her and all the Good Samaritan's
in the World!!!
Giving!
Freedom!
Everywhere!
The Strong!
The Brave!
The Free!
Courage!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C111Jh9NroY

http://www.goodsamaritanmovement.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/PHOTO_3684907_21864_7469138_ap.jpg

oH wAIT!

tHE! GODDESS!

dECIDES! IT'S OK!

tO tAke heR pictURe!

Looking at all the Peace symbols!
It's no wonder I love Peace!
It's all over my house1~~!

I AM Jealous!
Yellow Boy! definitely!
likes heR! better1!
than me!

canCha! TelL!!
IS written on hIs snOUT!!
Hi Victoria!

First of all,
I'd like to say I enjoy looking at your face;
it is all love;
it reminds me of my mother’s face!

Secondly,
I hope you don't mind
if I share a little story on your blog.

I think that might be against blog rules
but I find myself bending them sometimes.

When I was a small child
my natural state of being was love.

People saw it in my eyes
and shared it with me.

Going to middle school
the boys told me
boys cannot smile.

There was an internal battle
losing love
to be a man.

Finding work at a Bowling Center
I was told as a man
I get paid to smile at customers.

For two decades my state of being
is love again!

As a supervisor
I was told
you don't smile at employees
too much
if you want to be respected.

The light of love
grows dimmer for me.

When my vision dimmed
and pain replaced smiles
another obstacle
to be and share love.

How would I do that in words again
to once again be love?

Finding a White Pearl in a blog
she provides the answer once again!

Hey love;
I love you more;
Love ya more later!

She is a 21 year old Islam girl.
I am a 53 year old man
from the west.

A complete stranger with no face;
only words she saw love in reciprocating same.
She bes love I bes love we bes love I share love now.
Hey love;
Love you friend;
love you more later!

Visit her blog
if one wants to see
love being in words!

It is linked in my Oreo story.
It is quite contagious.
I am now the love flu too.
You can share it too.
But wait!!
You already have it!
By the way,
the letter K,
in general,
is my favorite letter.
It is Alpha across many cultures.
You show it as Omega here too;
lying hidden on the left side of the table.
Peace to you always and love my friend.
And finally,
thank you for this love muse;
I'm glad I subscribed to your blog.
Now I have another peace; of my blog too!
I am going to link this post there in these words.
I always honor those who inspire me.

http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2013/07/28/kavannahintention-monday-meanderings/
Hi again…
Hey love Victoria!
As a person on the Autism spectrum
I mostly reflect what I see in life.
This post is beautiful one
that expresses a dignity of dying for me.
The fewer words I say to a post
never reflect that the words
are not sacred to me.
I read fast
every word counts
whether there is much
of a response or not.
When people leave
very short comments
that was nice
or beautiful comments
on your posts
or others
the intention
may be deep
as a reflection of
what is written
that cannot easily
be expressed
in writing.
In other words
don’t judge a word
by it’s cover…
Just a thought…
not a direction.
Every word
of my previous story
was worth it to me
if only you
were able
to see the beauty
of White Pearl.
That’s how love works.
I know you
understand that.
The joy that I feel
of seeing you see
that beauty
on her blog
makes me happier
than one could likely
imagine.
Love you more now
than ever friend.
When that many people
sing a song of love
on a blog
it is worth it to see,
I think…
there is a little more
going on
there
than meets
the eye.
This is part
of that too,
if you will…
I am just drawn
to light…
call me a moth
if you like…
I see it greater
in you too
as I do
White Pearl…
See you later
on D-Verse open link
Night 107
with Autistic Love Letters…
and stories about other dark haired girls
on this path of journey in life…
where they lead this heart
of love
not the
‘emotional’ ‘type’
as Captain
of
IT…

http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2013/07/29/beverly-hills-dying/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8sMn1jN-EM*7302013 8:33AM*
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5533414.html#5533414



30+ Safe Sites for People on the Autism Spectrum and People Who Love Them :)!

http://katiemiaaghogday.blogspot.com/2013/05/30-safe-sites-for-people-on-autism.html



Autism, the Internet and "Ideological First Identity", a Collection of Thoughts:

http://katiemiaaghogday.blogspot.com/2013/05/autism-internet-and-ideological-first.html


*




"AutisticS Peeks!"


It's Good

to Hear

ya
:)!
*

(:@@
@:)
!*


AS
P:
Autistic Spectrum
Perception

 and

 Perspective

...


"A Thousand Years"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdygEzfbhqc
by Christina Perri


...


Silent Lucidity


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhat-xUQ6dw

by Queensryche
...



http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt233651.html http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xa8gz6_ningen-no-kodomo_music#.UcWYkLqcKng
http://www.animelyrics.com/jpop/araiakino/ningennokodomo.htm...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e-HNqLodM4




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7frG_L7P4tA

.....
*



SEEin eLeVN

http://katiemiaaghogday.blogspot.com/2013/06/seein-eleven.html



 ...
Opened at
63013
12:01 AM
13528 Views
150 PostViews

...





TWELVE
twElve


http://katiemiaaghogday.blogspot.com/2013/06/twelve.html



A
Message...
...Language is A Universe of Expression...


It starts with Stars...


4 digits...



and a
Prehensile
Thumb...

People
Sketching
Angles In Sand...

Reflecting Stars In Sky...



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGK84Poeynk

Symphony of Science
"We Are All Connected"

..."All the World's a Stage"...William Shakespeare...
Existing Eyes of Universe ONEALLNOWFOREVERMORE ll
http://katiemiaaghogday.blogspot.com/2013/07/existing-eyes-of-universe_3.html
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Friday, April 05, 2013

Goodbye "Sunny Boy"

I lost a child long ago, and I guess I never fully grieved.

 A previous loved cat, some years ago called Elwood, mistaken for another cat on the side of the road, brought not only tears for what I thought was Elwood, but the grief for my child from several years earlier.

 It did not last long, after I found out it was not Elwood.

 I have been fortunate not to lose many loved ones in my life, so far.

 When Elwood was gone for good, I had a hard time accepting that, but fortune seemed to come to me again, as his twin brother from down the road, decided to become adopted by us.

 He was with us for about a year.

 As described in my last post, Yellow Boy's Son, "Sunny Boy", recently gained residence.

 However, he had been trying to secure a home since last November.  After he injured our Yellow Boy, it didn't seem likely to happen, but it appears that Yellow Boy was likely the aggressor protecting his territory instead of Sunny Boy. 

Sunny Boy, apparently fell to a similar fate, protecting the same territory that Yellow Boy roamed when he was an outdoor cat.

 Sunny Boy, was still a little fearful of being petted so we were not sure we would be able to get him into a Cat Carrier for a trip to the Vet. 

That part ended up being no problem.

 When Elwood was put down it was not a hard decision as he was old and suffering.  Sunny Boy is about a year and a half old, purring maybe for the first time in his life as a human finally gave him love.  He even seemed to enjoy the attention at the Vet, even though he was severely injured.

 I recently got a Smart phone that I took with me, to avoid anxiety. 

I never thought I would use the photo feature.

 I thought he would come back like Yellow Boy did when he was injured but that did not happen.  I suppose somewhere in the back of my mind I thought he was emotional insurance for Yellow Boy, who has feline Leukemia, as I had earlier viewed Jake as a replacement for Elwood.  It wasn't the same Cat, but I felt I had gotten the best of fate when Jake showed up.

 Sunny Boy tested for Feline AIDS.  He could not become an inside cat with his father, with another immune system disorder, so our choice was to risk him suffering if he could not overcome the infection outside after surgery that would be necessary, along with a continued opportunity to infect the other neighborhood cats.

 I'm glad I had the photo feature, to say goodbye, with a lasting memory of another friend that made me feel human.  The Vet helped to convince us it was the right decision, but that did not make it any less difficult.

 Walking around the block tonight I missed my friend, but I was more in touch with the love I still have. 

I could feel that tingly feeling in the tips of my fingers as I waved to my sister and friend driving by once again.



"September" by Earth Wind & Fire:


 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs069dndIYk


I could feel that wonderful warm feeling of the words I love you talking to my mother on the phone.  And I could truly comfort my spouse in a time of need, in feeling that warm sense of compassion, that was not only words, but the truly passionate feeling I could count on most of my life, to be strong.

I had forgotten what all of that had felt like, including the complex sensations of emotion from all the images, sounds and smells walking around the block in the approaching Spring of Air. None of them that have names to me, but familiar in my existence.


"In the Stone" by Earth Wind & Fire:



 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbPxUxNtVR8


Sunny boy provided me the gift of life, again, for at least a short period of time through his suffering.

I'm still not sure if I was his friend, with the decision my spouse and I made.  But, never the less, he was a good friend until the end.  A wonderful friendly cat, that could fully appreciate love from others.

 I suppose that is a good thing about a blog, as a testament of love for others, that can be remembered more clearly if it is forgotten...

Yellow Boy looking at his Sunny Boy in the territory that once was his:
 



Sunny Boy almost sure that he had a Friend.  I think he was fully convinced today that he could trust us.  That more than anything brings the tears.




The first cat that I ever called mine was another yellow boy called Toby. 

It was like magic to me when the cat lay next to me in a bed.  It is a vivid memory that I hope I will never forget.  I was always pleasantly surprised when anyone indicated they accepted and liked me. 

There was never any question with cats.  There was also no question with the only dog I had, a mixed breed Dachshund called Charlie.  He helped get me through my middle school years, when he was always one friend outside my family I could count on coming home from school.  That loss was painful enough, where I don't remember ever considering another dog as a pet.

 Yellow boy lies next to me too, but much more often with my spouse, who he is glued to most of the day. :)

 It is interesting to me, as I always find myself reflecting on every pet that gave me comfort, when I lose one.  I suppose there is value to every experience in one's life, if one looks deeply enough for it.



Autism, the Internet and "Ideological First Identity", a Collection of Thoughts:

http://katiemiaaghogday.blogspot.com/2013/05/autism-internet-and-ideological-first.html





"AutisticS Peeks!"


It's Good

to Hear

ya
:)!
*

(:@@
@:)
!*

AS
P:
Autistic Spectrum
Perception

 and

 Perspective


Posted by at No comments:
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