what if she is real and that is prophecy and she is yet to come
in flesh and blood.. and what IF she is incarnate as a very sick child
and flowers in to what she is now at age 45.. with all beauty and glory..
just natural as IS IS..
It is what IS IS..;)
son of Great
calls wife Katrina..
and his frigging inside joke is
he is comparing her to a goddess and not a mix of dog.. ha!..
the last laugh is on US.. after he dies.. and i find the meaning of his joke online..
IN WIKI LAND..
Anyway.. Katrina thinks THAT Woman/Goddess MUT/ISIS is not attractive.. and she gets mad when i say she ‘looks like her’.. and sure Katrina is more attractive.. it’s hard to be the most beautiful 45 year old woman in the world.. without make-up.. i guess..
Hi Himali.. It’s raining again.. leaves are falling.. and there is always room for sharing.. giving.. and hope.. when leaves and rain fall in cycles of soul.. spirit.. and heart of human too.. so if one looks way.. way down that street.. there is a spark of Sun.. that will soon shine.. and rise again.. as human heart.. spirit of soul.. connecting friends again..:)
Hi.. again.. Himali.. a notebook of evergreen.. is a work of art.. that refuses and never turns brown.. in shades of grey.. until daRkness becomes art aGaiN.. a place of mountain tops. where skis of snow.. slope.. will never end for now.. painting.. friends..:)
Smiles.. so let it be written.. So let it be done.. I WiLL be HERE..:)
i weep almost everyday for the gift of my life.. and yes.. for the gift of friends as well.. in prayers.. and yes.. just being here.. is enough for me as well.. There is a place of lonely that is so far beyond sadness and tears.. that it has no name like GOD.. and that is why GOD creates US as GOD wants more than one Friend.. as the mirror tires alone.. and you know.. honestly.. when i come face to face with GOD on a dark beach night in the month of September of 1981.. this is what GoD tales me in God’s way of speaking that God is lonely in the beginning and can truly not feel Love until GOD creates US.. WE Are GOD’s Gift to GOD and IT IS up to US.. to show GOD the best now ever always as an expression of GOD’s Love.. so sure.. how can i not Love you.. i have GOD’s eYes.. and those eYes will Love All of Creation.. and even Greater when God’s eYes are Loved back.. when two or more come into a room GOD LIVES AS US IN EACH NEW CONNECTION OF HUMAN EyES OF UNCONDITIONAL TOUGH AND PASSIONATE LOVE FOREVER NOWMORE TEARS OF GOD OF JOY.. GOD WANTS THIS LOVE.. GOD NEEDS THIS LOVE MORE NOW ALL WAYS EVER… so i WilL FOLLOW THROUGH.. with GOD’s request to me.. then alWays NOW my friend.. wITh LOVE.. Mushy.. Cozy.. in ALL the ways GOD WiLL Love ITiN0W..:)
after all the challenges
you meet in life
and continue to adapt to i
n surviving.. it is no wonder that
it has not been a joyful ride..
joy is an emotion.. that yes.. not all experience.. of course..
and apparently you seem to say here you never have.. as of course
with joy comes Love of Life as a given.. for those moments immersed in joy..
And no.. i cannot say i’ve always wondered how people enjoy life.. but yes.. for long stretches.. i see the joy of others.. but can no longer feel or remember how if feels to me before..
And as already discussed.. in the past for me there is no memory of how a tear of comfort feels.. a laugh or even a smile in those days of 2008 to 2013.. and several depressions in earlier life.. but none.. where memories of emotions go away with the emotions as any feeling at all.. not even fear.. with physical pain replacing all of that with the atypical trigeminal neuralgia and the other 18 or so disorders.. for icing on the black cake..
My fortune.. i guess.. is being born happy..
and at least having an old picture of the smiling
eyes and mouth of a baby..
who lives joy then..
and brings the faint hope that joy can live again in me..
When there is no reference point that people who routinely feel joy cannot fathom… i for one cannot fathom that place of human darkness as you go one step above me.. if you’ve never seen more or less how people can enjoy life.. i feel for you.. as i know that temporary place.. but nah.. not the forty or so year place that you apparently reside in.. there.. now..
For me at least.. when all feelings are gone.. including the emotions of belief.. faith.. and hope in living life.. the DNA we share and epigenetics provides the potential of always change.. even if one must be the first in memory of history.. to make the change a reality.. but of course .. the path that works.. is one of personal path.. but all i feel at this point.. is human being at genetic core has incredible potential for real change.. and at 40 or so.. it is far too soon.. to say no.. i think.. i FEEL..
on the eventuality that you enjoy life so much.. that you wanna live forever.. now.. then.. now.. some how some way that works for you.. and that is my wish for you.. you are too far away to dance with me but if i could dance with you.. i believe i might bring you joy in feeling the empathy of me..:)
Your friend, Fred..:)
I dance alone first.. if there is no hope.. there can still be a Dance.. of Life…:)
Well.. my friend LaLa.. you have felt joys in the past so there is the reality of the potential of those joys in the future.. that will likely come to pass again.. i for one believe.. FEEL.. after knowing.. FEELING you for these two years and hmm.. two months or so…
Not everyone has that blessing.. as i just speak to another friend.. who has apparently never been able to understand how people feel joy in life at all.. as from an early history of childhood emotional abuse.. there appears to be no reference point for her.. but she goes on at age 40.. truly still doing incredible stuff in life.. as a survivor…
The greaTest gift of GOD is our will to live.. some folks call the Serpent or Reptilian brain inferior as they THINK THINKING is better than emoTiOns of FEELING.. BUT OF Course AS WE FOLKS who have experienced the drought of tears KNOW.. with at least some reference point.. of crying.. and joy..
There can be no lie further from the truth..
as to feel is to human
and to human is to Live.. and never wanna die.. alive..
but others say it much better than i.. and perhaps at this point ‘the words’ may mean more than a few of ‘my favorite things’ in YOUTUBE FORM..
“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens Brown paper packages tied up with strings These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings These are a few of my favorite things.
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes Silver white winters that melt into springs These are a few of my favorite things
When the dog bites, when the bee stings When I’m feeling sad I simply remember my favorite things And then I don’t feel so bad
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens Brown paper packages tied up with strings These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes Silver white winters that melt into springs These are a few of my favorite things
When the dog bites, when the bee stings When I’m feeling sad I simply remember my favorite things And then I don’t feel so bad.”
There is a now when these metaphors of song have zero meaning to me and i cannot imagine ever writing a song like this of my own.. but i did.. and it’s 11 million words long now.. keep writing my friend.. it takes me 5.5 million words to get THIS back.. but i LOVE MORE DEEPER than i ever have before.. as i write the light.. and let the dark sINk back in the pit of hell..
There is no formula i kNow.. i FEEL of.. that works but.. move.. connect and create.. and more ways to do iT.. than i will ever move.. connect and create alone.. the fastest way to death as life is to keep it inside.. withOUT expresSinG iT.. moving.. connecting.. in creative plaYinG ways of HUMAN SpiRit of emoTioNal HEaRT.. wITh mind and body balancing soUl N0W.. wITh other humans.. theRe iS no play of Life..
just a lonely script of isolation….
But here’s ThAT song.. i’m almost sure you know it but i will hate it if you haven’t heard it at least once.. but at least i feel you have lived it more than once.. and that my friend is not a gift my other friend apparently has the luxury of reference point for.. but it’s all relative in the game of human life.. that works best as plaYinG Life..:)
Halloween serves many valuable purposes.. among those are imagination.. creativity.. and the expression of human art.. in act of ego.. change.. to the dark symbols of illusory fears and some real fears of life.. some people fear the dark.. and others are cynical of the light and what i find is that the folks who are the most repressed in life.. in ways of expresSinG emotions and sensuality fear the dark the most.. and those who never imagine or create.. in ways of human art.. are most often cynical of the light.. To mix life in a way of fearlessness and creativity one and same.. is to conquer the dark.. and grow the light to highest ways of human being.. being one with all of Nature AKA God as well.. but it all comes down to experience of life.. in feeling and sensual ways.. of moving.. connecting and creating.. a science text book feels little of this.. and many philosophy books.. and even religious bibles feel little of this.. in the full of human being.. particularly moving ways of dance.. that is a core way of living for our ancestors true to communicate.. and escape predator and capture prey.. in a praying way of life.. of invisible balance.. that is moving moreover speaking in concrete ways of life.. and then there’s the poetry of life.. that expresses the deeper experiences of life.. far and few between.. short snippets of small talk here and there.. but still.. even small talk is better than nothing.. where cold eyes never meet the tween of dance in life… and sure there is always a song for all of this.. and for now it is Josh Groban’s ‘You Raise Me Up’.. for me..:)
I’ve never been much of a name person..
i am more of a face person..
and truly more of a visual thinker than word maker..
words are sign language for human non-verbal communication..
in ways of discrete and concrete labels.. that humans have come to be moreover as a way of thinking themselves to be even.. some folks look at themselves as dumb or smart.. others look at themselves as beautiful or ugly and the dichotomies go on.. of the what folks perceive as dark and light in life.. from poor to rich.. from atheist to priest..
we humans are quick to label.. and much slower to find
the deeper meanings of the human heArt.. soUl..
and SpiRit more fully expresSinG the much greater gift and yes.. miracle.. as
Mr. Lorre suggests above in his #504 vanity card at the end of tonight’s Big Bang TV show.. and speaking of social awkwardness vs.. the egghead way of living.. of course there is Autism.. a full spectrum of differences as in any other Doctor organizational oriented human label of difference or disorder..
Walking up to the festival grounds of Church.. yesterday on Sunday.. i hear a most beautiful woman’s voice singing.. and sure it’s time to dance.. and nah.. at a church festival where i live.. there are rarely any folks moving anything but a stiff stare.. so i will obviously be the lone one in this effort if i express that total joy of life.. in letting emotions freely flow in a simple bliss of moving life.. to celebrate with joy.. just being here.. alive.. and healthy.. as truly sWell.. smiles…
And to my great surprise this is no young woman singing the song.. it is a 29 year old Autistic Man.. who can replicate the song pipes of any singer.. male or female.. with a creativity that flows and does not have to think.. and sure this is how i sing too.. however i pass that parrot stage.. as i do with technical writing at work.. and move into how music in my heart carries me above and beyond the written notes of others..
In Pop Music.. perhaps singer Sia is best at doing this.. some folks suggesting she is from another planet her voice is so unique.. and from lowest notes to highest notes for me.. i do not restrict either the dance or song of life.. in anyway.. if it feels good.. i simply do it.. my body and voice will tale me where to go.. without any worry.. or anxiety over planning ways of life…
I suppose that kind of potential comes with years of living in many shoes of life.. and all the dark stuff in my life is a blessing.. as i have walked in so many shoes.. i have enough common sense now.. to understand that humans are extremely complex.. and not judge a person on just one area of their life with a label.. and it also allows me the freedom.. to Love myself however i create the next moment free.. in the freest spirit of human imagination and creativity.. in the song and dance of life..
Anyway.. the young Autistic man singing..
appreciates my courage to dance.. as nah..
except for my bright white pants..
light blue shirt.. that says
‘IT IS WHAT IT IS’..
i can easily pass for law enforcement
or in the military with my super cool shades..
and muscular 234 LB body sitting on a 6 feet or so frame of bones..
The surprise comes when i float on land.. pretty much over the top..
for a dude who looks like me.. hehe.. but my aim in life is to dispel
stereotypes and myths of human limiting labels.. so i do everything
i can to be different to show folks what different truly is..
So yes.. i walk up to the young man and grab the microphone..
without grabbing it.. if you will.. as my voice carries these days.. with or without a microphone.. and i say.. yes.. i am on the Autism Spectrum as well.. diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome.. and i too.. love to sing.. as it allows me better to regulate my emotions and communicate them too..
Sure there is more details.. but i just let the young man sing.. without going into too many details.. but the nice young autistic man with a smile on his face says ‘isn’t he smart’.. with just another human way of connecting to another person.. with more than one label.. in this life of diversity..
and this young man like me does not speak until he is over age three .. and like me.. there are threats of institutionalism for perceived labels of human being.. according to his parents.. i chat with in the audience stands.. while he is singing…
dBut to see deeper in human ways is always to see more
than a label with no limits of human potential..
and this young man..
is going far.. as he sees no
limits for himself..
and neither do i..
the challenges of life.. as history shows..
is truly what shines the diamonds of life..
from just a label to brilliant light of human heArt..
spiRit and soUl.. expresSinG a way of life that may be new
to the other human eye.. as frigging something extra special..
taking steps that few folks take before..:)
Hi friend.. the feathered sleep.. ‘they’ say in numerology that when one has completed all the tasks of cosmic life through life times of practice and practice of making grades pass struggles this and struggles that.. that one gets the gift of free will.. 0.. and one can do whatever one likes.. perhaps one is born into fortune like Buddha.. or one is born Now as strong as Muhammad Ali floating like a super butterfly and singing like a Bee with ease.. and sure one can lounge around and take all their life easy.. never give a dime of effort back.. but seriously how can one who climbs all the mountains.. sit at the bottom.. and never climb again.. Real Heroes do it for more than just them alone.. REAL heroes GIVE ten times or more than what they get.. and sure the Universe has a way of rewarding wills of real life like that.. f r e E And my number(s) iS… 0 1 1 1 for my 4 Life challenges.. coincidence… sure.. whatever ‘they’ say..;)
JUST another selfie with the Bear Head Lady from the mall.. and classic photo bomb by the little boy with the tie.. who wants to be part of the creativity in full sWinG..:)
Yes.. the bear head makes an excellent conversation piece to break the ice.. for a quick convo.. and lately wherever i go.. it seems i make a conversation piece.. in different ways of dArk and liGht.. and sure most of the time.. I’m not in the actual conversation.. just the topic of it.. wherever i go dance..:)
i must say again.. It’s truly amazing what smartphones can do in the way of art.. today.. and the iPhone 6s.. with the simple point and shoot feature.. and much better quality photos makes real magic of Nature come to life.. raw.. just raw.. without any enhancements at all.. Anyway.. i get really disgusted sometimes for some folks who wish this beauty all away with an apocalypse to get a free ride to heaven.. when the REAL Jesus says it IS now AS Nature.. per gnostic gospel of Thomas.. for those of us who learn to see it and feel it with more than literal materialistic eyes.. if more people can truly feel heaven now.. they will wanna keep IT ALL CLEAN… IN EVERY WAY.. WITH BLESSINGS AND PEACE.. WITH GRATITUDE FOR ALL WE ARE GIFTED WITH.. AS MOTHER NATURE TRUE.. AKA GOD..:)