Bottom Bridge WinGs

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It’s true Maria..
God determines ‘this’..
through eyes of human..
never limited to parents
as children of God
and not when parents
are made as God’s voice
of future couple alone..
Funny how much people try
to chain God and put God
in boxes of 3 or more letters..
God is bigger and so is the human heart..
spirit.. and soul.. over cultural and religious
chains of human made prisons of faux rules
in attempts to rule God.. God spits those
humans out into real hell now
of human’s own self fulfilling
prophecy.. Yes.. I am sorry too..
‘This’ is true and few will listen
who are ruled by human
instead of God
who lives
within
without
any
culture
or religion…
PS.. Hi Maria..
and thank you
for your beautiful poem..
Right and Wrong is human..
GOD
is Real
and human
can be too..
simply
by escaping
humans in
cultural and
religious
ways of
illusions..
GOD
IS FREE
and so
are
WE
when
God lives
in out up
and down
and all
around
US FREE..:)
Listen to the
music
and
Dance
God..
sMiLes..
most of
all Be
YOU
BE
FREE..
sorry i missed
the call here before..
but i always try to lend
a voice to one who speaks Truth
and
Light
my friend..:)
216
First a quick
joke.. can
you imagine
me with
writer’s
block..
joke
ends.. now
back to catching
up to the rest of
what dVerse open
link Night has to
offer in the way
of poetic
responses
from me.. hehe..;)
True.. many folks spend
their life running away
with cultures and
religions
when the
them is
one and
true with
the
rest
of all
that is..
a comfortable
gLove of Truth and Light
that no one owns
but
US
as
WE as liGht and TRuTH..:)
*hmm.. this is fun..
i will continue..
side note
ends..;)*
Real Love is never
sorry
or hides..
@ALL..
IT oNly
Shares
and
GiVES..:)
Zombie apocalypse
of human cold hearts
LESs here theRe
is no doubt
but there
are great
lights
shining
that
will
conquer
AsLove
ASummer
wHere Winter
only
visits.. and never
stays
forever
dark
LIGHT IS HERE..:)
55.. i don’t suppose
is too old but there
is a now at 21
where
my song
ends..
re-beGins
at 22..
ends again
at 47.. comes
roaring back
like a Lion
at 53..
and the rest
is history now
is all Heaven..
illusion for
me is
song
ends..
it
never
does..
in
Finity
and yes..
sometimes
the first note..
word.. or step
is the long
song
and
dance
HOME
ASHEAVEN
ALWAYSNOW..:)
*WeLL.. THAT’S
all dVerse has
to offer.. and quite
honestly.. i guess i’ve
done enough for now huh..
it’s been overcast here
and stormy ever since the
Super Blood Moon comes
last Sunday night..
and i’ve written
somewhere around
27 to 47K words
depending on
if revised
words are
counted
or not..
Anyway the
Sun is forecast
to come again..
so i will leave this
pen I
s for now hehe..
and now the
dance of
Nature
comes
with the
flesh and blood
connection of dance
in many public stores
and farm to come on
Sunday as well..
so perhaps
another
blog post
will come with
all of this sometimes
around Sunday or
who
feels
and knows
when.. as the
hand of God guides
me in
Pen and
IS..:)
Anyway.. after a lifetime
of people more or less
taling my existence is a joke..
i say it is real.. and i will
be a joke too.. as there
are two ways of life..
Victory
or
Vengeance
and i for
one will
do a joke
to end this
as sometimes
quite honestly
sarcasm and
smart
asses
rule
as
sacred
fools..
but it’s
wit and neither
gold or green that
truly rules with
human HeArt
expresSing
SpiRit..
as miNd
and bodY
balanCinG
soUl aLiVe
my friend(s)..
for N0W I’M HOME..:)
HA! THE SUN JUST PEAkS
THROUGH A SIgN FROM GOD
THROUGH MY BEDROOM WiND0W..
i’LL TAKE N0W
TO C0ME
0UTSIDE
AND
F*KinG
jUst
plaY!..:)
1:01 pm
10032015
667
i like to be unique..
before one morning
i cannot separate
myself from.. yes
X.. a rusty
chain..
rain.. stays
still and same..
and that
is too wet
for me..
cat who sees
beYond pastie
eYes of others
glue..:)
707
Hi Zee.. so good to hear from you today..
i’ve been checking back on your
site in the last day or so..
to see if you are writing
another post there..
as i was starting
to get a little
concerned
as you
seemed
somewhat
down in the
last post.. so yes.. SO
nice to see the smiley faces
here on Saturday.. and i wish
you a great and joyful Saturday
along with Sunday as I know nite
nite time is here now in
Pakistan friend..
smiles
with love
and laughter
for Living
LIFE!
PLAY
AS
FUN!..:)
Hi.. Zee..
I’m glad you missed ‘it’
as your word press
notification provides
an opportunity to read the wise
and kind words of all your readers..
Yes.. Love of the unconditional
KiND of ALLaH attracts the same..
You are a liGht for that my friend..
So may you always shine bright
like a human diamond..:)
858
HI X.. i like the metaphor of shipmate
to describe the fix the world is in..
In my local area.. yes..
fundamentalist
Christian
dominated
by the most
churches
per square
mile in past
Record books..
like the New Jerusalem
in both dark and light
ways of the
Old
ways..
is haven
to discriminate
against the different
past whitie
tightie pastie..
skin.. and
Southern
Baptist
church
pews..
yes.. some stUFF
rarely changes and as
mentioned.. per science mind
before.. science has a handle on
this too.. as science shows.. that
humans innately can be liberal
or conservative with the
super liberal folks
like me totally
open
to the different..
yes.. like the real
historical man Jesus..
Buddha.. and several
million and or billion
others like
us.. sMiLEs
yes.. miles of
liberals and
conservatives make
the world go around
as is.. by the way..
here’s that cool
science video
again for any
new comers..
smiles again..;)
So yes.. as long as humans are flesh
and blood thingies we are gonna
have much different ideas
among folks
innately
and
environmentally
liberal as open minds..
OR
as conservative
closed
minds..
about
the new and
the different of life..:)
So yes.. what the hell
does all of that have to
do with shipmates.. when
folks become shipmates they
are much more likely to tolerate
and even at times accept differences..
the Navy station i work at for over two
decades is a respite from the prejudice
in my local area.. particularly specific to
Black Americans.. and this can be true
in football too.. as folks find out that we
all sweat and bleed the same color..
great example of that in
the Forrest Gump
movie as
well of course..
where smart becomes
as smart does.. instead
of iQ frigging points on
a test.. or a graded
paper for
some
straight
A’s.. Just DOING
IT IS ALL OF WHAT
IT IS ABOUT..
AND WITH ALL STUFF
HUMAN IN MOVING
CONNECTING AND
CREATING
USE
IT
OR
LOSE
IT
DOES
MOST
DEFINITELY
APPLY!..;)
I PROVIDE tHe proof
of what can happen when a human
USES ALL OF IT HERE.. YES.. IT WORKS
AND WE CAN BECOME WILD AND FREE LOVING
SOCIALLY COOPERATING ANIMALS WHO
CAN DANCE AND SING..
RATHER THAN
ROBOTS
OR ZOMBIES
BEHIND
AN
ICE
COLD
SCREEN..
SCREAM!..
BUTT.. OH..
there is a paradox
of light and dark
with technology
too.. as with the shipmate
example.. to get to know your
shipmate in intimate detail is to
realize ya got stuff in common and not
just the different of the seeing eye.. the
feeling eye learns to rule by
pumping the
LOVE MUSCLE
HARDER FASTER
PLEASE.. LIKE THE
6 million dollar man
we can
rise
and
LOVE
AGAIN!
FASTER
AND
HARDER
WITH EACH
OTHER IN FLESH
AND BLOOD..
THE BEST
ParTs
of Living
HUMAN
BEING
AFRIGGINGALIVE!
AND YES.. expressing
E M O T i O n S AND
human sensuality in
grace and strength
for the
divine
masculine
and feminine
is the excellent
example of the big tough
dude in the multi-colored
Richard Simmons
sweaties..
with the
sweetie
dance
partners
too!
WoMEN
are much more
balancing
these days
in ways of feminine
and expressing their
assertive masculine
will of side..
they beat the F
out of men most
every time.. in culture
now.. where men will continue
to die earlier with more suffering
and misery.. by repressing their
human beings of feminine
E M O T i O N a L
and SENsualiTY side!..
And these screaming
screens of technologies
new age way.. is just the
virtual ticket.. yes.. the truly
only virtual ticket to get A BIG
WORLD HIVE.. CONNECTING
BUZZING.. AND BEING
ONE
AS WHOLE
LOVE
OF
SOCIALLY
COOPERATING
HUMAN LIVES!
IT AIN’T PERFECT
BUT IT
IS WHAT
IT IS..
AND
WE CAN USE
IT AS A TOOL TO
CONNECT BETTER..
PERHAPS MOTIVATE
OURSELVES TO MOVE..
AND PARTICULARLY GAIN
SOME ASSISTANCE
TO CREATE
IN BLOGGER
LIKE WAYS!
YES.. AND LOSE
IT OR LOSE IT ALSO
APPLIES TO UNDERSTANDING
METAPHORS.. WRITING.. MOVING
CREATING.. CONNECTING AND EVERYTHING
ELSE IN LIFE.. THE BIGGEST SECRET IS TO
NEVER EVER LEAVE
BOOTCAMP
OR PRE-SEASON
PRACTICE.. EVEN
IF ONE HAS NEVER
BEEN THERE..
GOD IS A GOD
OF CHALLENGE
ADAPTATION
AND CHANGE
TO BECOME
A FAT CAT
OF INSTANT GRATIFICATION
IS NOT TO LIVE LIKE A FERAL
YELLOW BOY.. in lightning
fast.. strong and smArt cat!
WHO HEARS
THE CALL OF THE
WILD AKA THE CALL OF GOD
AND SAYS IT’S TIME TO GO OUT
AND
HUNT LIFE
INSTEAD
OF WAITING
FOR IT TO COME!..:)
Katrina.. in the background
saying get the F off that
Keyboard
and let’s go
PLAY.. HUNTING
FOR SUBSISTENCE
STUFF FOR HER..
AND DANCING
LEGS
AND
CONNECTING
FOR ME..
sMILEs
of F in FUN!..:)
PS.. i never cover my naked
legs in the last two
years.. so i cannot
wear sweats
or tights..
even in
the
F
in
SnOW..;)
Hi X.. thanks for stopping by again..
so much.. adding the important
elements comprising
the shipmate life..
realizing we are
all in this keeping
the ship afloat game together..
and the only way for the
ship to sail true
and brave is for us all to work together..
YES! like the metaphor of Gilligan’s Island too!..
AND of course the social role is primal and most important in using strengths
of each individual’s skills to get each individual bee job done so the hive will thrive and THE Invisible Queen of Nature will stay happy.. sMiLEs.. of sailing well.. with more metaphors.. too.. from Mother Nature.. QUEEN BEE Truth and Light.. AKA God.. of course.. write on course.. aS ALLTHATIS.. hahaheHE!..;)
1792
Epic Mall dance.. Fred vs Darth.. Maul on Thursday Night Dancing.. and Vader.. Saturday tonight.. and stay tuned for who wins.. the dark force or the light force.. if i lose the duel.. i must wear a Darth Vader Shirt to Catholic Church tomorrow morning with a huge Darth face all across the shirt.. and then from there
i must wear the shirt to the Southern Baptist
Pastors’s home on the First Sunday get
together out in the back woods of
Santa Rosa County
close to Spring Hill..
where my kinfolks used to live too..
a very nice place to live.. on a farm..
except there ain’t no dam Internet access..wink emoticon..;)
1904
Suicide..
perhaps the
hardest subject to discuss
and live through there is for human being..
And yes.. there is most definitely some stuff in life worse than death..
And for me.. losing first love.. losing first and only child.. and watching first and only child suffer in only misery and pain for 51 days in a hospital.. and that’s all he ever gets in life.. all the bullying in school.. where people tell me in no uncertain terms that i do not belong on this planet earth.. and off with my life.. as far as they are concerned then..
NO.. i never ever consider suicide for even one second during all of that.. but ha!.. the challenge has not even started.. then.. a life of ‘JOB’ will start with the worst pain known to mankind..at age 47.. type two Trigeminal Neuralgia.. BORing Novocaine-less dentist-like drills in my right eye and ear.. from wake to sleep for 66 months..
A pain so bad that the first 40 days of this pain.. ALONG with the challenge of Dyautonomia where my heart rate and blood pressure no longer properly synch with autonomic nervous system.. where every time i drift off to sleep my heart goes fast to pick up the slack with my blood pressure and i wake up gasping for breath..
And Fibromyalgia.. Severe Degenerative Arthritis in the Spine.. along with Spinal Stenosis.. making incredible pain in my neck.. as part of an early onset issue associated with a Congenitally Fused Vertebra in neck from birth..
Sjogren’s Syndrome.. where my eyes
almost completely stop making tears..
like swimming with
one’s eyes open in salt water..
a perfect storm of illnesses coming together
with Severe Anxiety.. PTSD/Panic Attacks..
Severe Depression… Anhedonia..
a side order of a
middle-age diagnosis on the
Autism Spectrum.. specifically..
Asperger’s Syndrome..
ADHD.. and Alexithymia..
Severely closed up sinuses from
a Deviated Septum from birth.. and associated
exacerbated Inflammation of the Mucosa
in the Sinuses.. where
the ENT
who reads the Cat Scan
of my Sinuses says.. dam..
how do you breathe through your nose..
and i’m thinking.. dam.. don’t you know
there is another whole named my mouth..
but yeah.. a little air goes through the nose..
but no one ever tells me lots of air
is supposed to go through there..
haha.. i guess.. ya adapt.. and survive.. YNOT.. and sure..
Coat Hanger Pain syndrome associated with Dysautonomia.. too..
Moderate Carpal syndrome in both wrists.. extreme Tactile Sensitivity..
an ongoing issue still.. where i’ve never been able to touch
manmade stuff.. not even my pants..
without severe discomfort..
Tachycardia.. heart always
beating close to 100 beats
per minute.. and Vasovagal Pre-Syncope..
just eat a heavy meal.. and raise your arms..
and ya almost pass out.. as the blood is just not
getting to the head.. oh yes.. hell yes.. back
to the frigging 40 days.. with all these
particulars associated with Dysautonomia..
Perhaps.. the worse case of Insomnia ever.. as the record for no sleep at all is 264 hours of precisely.. 11 days.. and i get ‘gifted’ with 40 days.. only a shallow sleep one hour each night.. the first 35 days.. with the aid of a powerful alpha blocker to get my heart to slow down for about an hour to go to sleep.. yeah.. and then for the last 5 of 40 days.. not even an hour of sleep.. no sleep at all.. where the pain burning all over my body.. is worse than any pain imaginable.. worse than any flame.. and then OMG..
ALL THE FEELING STOPS EVERYWHERE
TOWARD THE
VERY
END..
AND i am like a piece of paper with no feelings at all..
My Brain has done something very strange..
i become the Living Dead..
where there is only time..
and a second lasts
a thousand years of hell with no end..
OMG.. it is beyond frigging anything i can imagine before.. and they cannot even describe this on the worst horror show ever.. as there are no words to feel zero point of.. Nothing Hell.. so much worse than even the worst pain known to mankind i have.. so then all that is left is the will to die.. as the last grasp resort escape for Hell in Life..
i struggle to find the keys on the 39th day..
i am going to drive as fast as i can into a tree..
and Fucking Escape Hell.. i sneak the keys past Katrina..
somehow find the strength to get to the car..
as she has been helping me even get
to a shower to take a bath..
as i am almost too weak to walk..
i get a second wind to die..
and i am gonna take it as i am
in a place no one tales me can
possibly exist in hell in life.. death is the blessing of eternity to me then..
So i drive.. and the cautious driver i always am.. for a lifetime… in muscle memory.. refuses to go over 55.. and after 40 days of little to NO sleep.. the state of mind is beyond belief.. i must get to a bridge and jump off.. as there are no high buildings and i am too weak to get a rope and hang myself.. i already make it to a store to buy a shotgun.. weeks before.. but i am too.. weak and tired.. to even figure out how to load it.. so i arrive at the Blackwater Bridge..
Yes.. the same place i am raised.. and get married on the gazebo of the boardwalk.. that i often show a photo of in my blogs.. and i sit at the bottom of the bridge in my car.. there are fisherman in boats.. and even if i can make it to the top to jump off.. they will surely save me.. there is no way to die..
My sister comes down the hill in her car.. at the red light.. somehow she knows i will be there.. she talks me into her car.. i want to go to the river walk.. and just jump off there.. as i am like a roach on his last leg of bug spray and pain.. as the pain comes back.. in stormy revenge after the NO Feeling of Hell..
and she takes me in her car to the highway up North..
the same Munson highway that takes us to the farm
we will visit on Sunday after church.. on the first Sunday of every month now..
Driving 80 miles an hour.. saying please i don’t won’t to live without a brother.. and i say no.. not you.. just me.. it is beyond the worst nightmare imaginable ever and it is real for me..
AND HER
AND THE REST
OF MY FAMILY TOO..
Well.. i must tale this
story as it is true.. and
i must relate my life to all others..
including the 66 months of hell after that…
as a shut-in in my bedroom..
and i must relate the fact.. YES.. the FACT THAT GOD HEALS ME OF ALL MY DISORDERS.. at least into remission.. SUDDENLY AND MIRACULOUSLY ON OR ABOUT JULY 22ND 2013.. AND ALL THE AMAZING STUFF THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME IN THE BLISS OF HEAVEN AFTER THAT..
‘CAUSE.. I JUST WANT FOLKS
TO KNOW AND FEEL
SOMEHOW THAT GOD IS REAL..
AND MIRACLES AND ANYTHING
IS POSSIBLE WITH GOD..
EVEN THROUGH ALL THIS NIGHTMARE
OF A REAL BIBLE ‘JOB’..
LIFE CAN BECOME THE BEST EVER WITH A SECOND
AND THOUSANDTH WIND OF GOD AT OUR BACKS..
IF WE SET OURSELVES FREE WITH
THE WILL AND COURAGE OF SURVIVAL..
EVEN IF ALL IS LOST..
iN PEACE OF MiND
AND BODY BALANCE OF SOUL..
AND I TALE THIS STORY OVER AND OVER..
TO SOME degree when i talk to people.. IN FLESH AND BLOOD LIFE..
about why i dance in real life everywhere i go.. 4000 miles.. i tell them about the writing.. and my bravery to dance naked and free in front of the world.. if they are adults of course.. AND i tell them where i’ve been and i even show them the YouTube Video on my handy dandy iPhone 6s now.. of me pressing almost half a ton 14 times slowly on parallel leg press machine with my arms raised in the air.. and i give them the update on how i do it 25 times now..
And I TELL THEM AGAIN.. GOD IS REAL.. GOD IS GREAT
AND GOD LIVES INSIDE US ALL.. NO DIFFERENT
THAN JESUS… BUDDHA
AND FUCKING
JOE
THE
PLUMBER.. AS GOD IS
A GIFT OF ALL TO ALL..
AND IF WE LOOK WITHIN
WE CAN FIND GOD TO
HELP US IN OUR OWN
UNIQUE NEEDS
OF HEALING
SELF
IN ALL
OUR PAINS
AND MISERIES..
YES.. i am only
human but with
GOD i am
GOD as well..
as we are all
special
children
of GOD
with a gift
that no culture
or religion
can take
away..
for those
of US WHO
DO LIVE FREE NOW
WITH THE HIGHER
POWER OF GOD
MANIFEST
AS
HUMAN
BEING
LOVE
AND
FREEDOM
ALWAYS USAsNOW..:)
As often iPhones
do.. sometimes
they just start up
playing a random
song in one’s music
library.. this song comes
on.. i enjoy a whimsical
dance with it.. but when
i watch the Youtube video
i know it is once again.. time
to tale this full story.. as yes..
there are potentially many people
in the reading audience
now or somewhere
down the road when a
random person on Googles searches
clicks on this link.. perhaps long after i am dead.. who
will be able to see the evidence here.. of truly how happy
a person can be in a real heaven now.. after going to a real
hell
THEN..
THANKS GOD
FOR MY LIFE
AND THANKS
GOD..
FOR PROVIDING
THOSE FISHERMEN
THAT I KNOW THEN
WILL NEVER
LET
ME
DIE EITHER..
AS THERE ARE HEROES
IN THIS LIFE STILL THAT
LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY
AND THAT TOO IS WHAT
i now
aim
to
JUST
DO
IN ONLINE
AND OFFLINE
LIFE TOO NOW..:)
And yeah.. on the 40th day..
hard headed me agrees to
go to the hospital.. i am terrified
to go to ‘the mental place’ as it is
the place at age 21.. i almost
never escape.. but there
is no other
option..
and thank GOD
for Ativan.. as a 2MG
injection puts me to sleep
like a baby.. and what a relief
that is after 40 days.. where the
alpha blocker just makes me feel
all that much worse.. after it wears
off after an hour of semi-sleep
wake delirium
in a state
of mind
beyond
imagination
before.. as well..
i talk my way out
of the mental place
with the psychiatrist
but the the truth
still is.. then..
my only motivation
of life is to end it all..
and yes.. i remain suicidal
with a metal chain in my bicycle
basket as the Ativan is helping
somewhat.. in case the pain gets
as bad as it did before or the no
feeling at all.. like piece of paper
existence.. in 2010 around two
years or so into hell of 2010..
i am thinking about a tree on
Martin road.. some distance
from my home
on bicycle
travel..
a place far enough
where no one
but hungry
birds will
find what
is left of me..
and then my wife
awakes from a dream
and tales me her granny
who has long since passed
away and she are hanging up Christmas
ornaments on a tree on YES.. SPECIFICALLY
WHAT SHE SAYS IS MARTIN ROAD AND
SHE CAN’T FUCKING FIGURE OUT
WHY SHE DREAMS THIS..
AS SHE NEVER EVEN
THINKS ABOUT
FUCKING MARTIN
ROAD.. SO YEAH..
I NEVER TALE HER UNTIL
LONG AFTER I RECOVER
IN 2013.. ABOUT BEING
SUICIDAL THEN.. OR THE
CHAIN THAT REMAINS
IN MY BICYCLE
BASKET UNTIL
THE PAIN
GOES
AWAY IN
JULY OF 2013..
BUT YEAH.. I CAN’T
GET ANY MORE MESSAGES
FROM GOD THEN.. IN SIGNS
OF SYNCHRONICITY AS
THAT PART OF ME IS
DEAD THEN..
BUT SHE
DOES IT
FOR ME..
WITH GOD..
GOD KnOWS
THEN GOD
HAS OTHER
PLANS
IN STORE FOR ME..
AND yeah.. also when
i first come home from
work where i can no longer
do that.. extreme fight of flight
stress of two years.. finally
slows down for me..
all sick as hell
then.. and my
wife and i walk
around the block
me stumbling around..
and suddenly time slows
down dramatically to me..
and she says that’s weird
it feels like everything just
slows down.. she never says
that before.. and i never feel
that before..
there is stuff
in this life
‘HORATIO’
STRANGER
THAN ANY FICTION
EVER READ IN ANY
BOOK
AND THE
STRANGEST
THING OF ALL
IS IT
IS REAL
MIRACLES
ARE REAL
AND GOD
IS MORE STRANGE
AND MYSTERIOUS
THAN ANY BIBLE..
SACRED TEXT..
OR SCIENCE
PROJECT
WILL
EVER
TALE..
AND this is the best i can
do.. but sure.. there is much
more to it.. that i still have
no words for..
and may
never do GOD
justice for my
gift of life..
to FIND THOSE
NEW METAPHORS
TO DESCRIBE WHAT
I’VE BEEN THROUGH
BUT
I WILL
KEEP
TRYING
AS THIS
DUDE
DOES
NOT
GIVE
UP
UNDER
ANY CIRCUMSTANCES
WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM
MY
FRIENDS..:)
And yeah.. toward
the end of those
40 days.. totally
incapacitated..
i vividly
still
then..
can imagine
my end being
eaten alive
by wild
dogs..
naked on
the side of
the road some
where.. So yes..
HELL YES.. i value
my Health and
Independence
AND MOREOVER
FREEDOM FOR
GOOD
REASON
AND MOST
OF ALL.. FEELING..
NAMELY UNCONDITIONAL
LOVE ALWAYS NOW ALIVE..
oh and one more thing
speaking of pain
medications and
addictive
prescription
drugs.. Ativan is
incredibly addictive
and the only thing
that saves my life
but starting out with
4 MG that will practically
put down a frigging larger
animal than me.. then at
a relatively shrunk down
182 LBS compared to today’s
‘Superfred’ at 234 Lbs..
Ativan will numb all
stuff emotions too..
a little high at
first like
that first
beer.. in
euphoria feel..
but Zombie waves
of beauty LESS
life of feeling
after that.. and
it takes me all the
way to July of 2013
and the end of pain
to take the less one
quarter of a pill i
ever take.. a long
journey from 4 to a
Quarter to none..
with withdrawal
symptoms along
the way..
with
car lights
coming alive
as eyes and
such as that..
yes really scary
stuff.. but never
the less i am successful
and fearless now with zero
levels of anxiety where my
psychiatrist at one point in time
an Air Force major who deals with
combat fatigue veterans says
i am the worst case
of human being
total disrepair
more and less
than he has
ever come
across
in
his
military
shrink career..
Anything is possible
with the higher power
of GOD.. call it the
higher power of Mother
Nature or WTF FTW
labels matter
NOT
THE ESSENCE
OF THIS HIGHER
POTENTIAL OF
HUMAN AND
THE REST
OF NATURE
REAL AKA GOD
IS AS REAL AS
ANY FLESH
AND BLOOD
WE FEEL
AND LIVE
NOW
TO
NOW
ALIVE
AS FREE..:)
4415
Hi X.. this reminds me of the inside stories of the homeless told by Katrina’s brother during his ‘stay’ as a homeless person in California.. but there is a caring in that survival environment that sadly does NOT carry over nearly as much in our modern society.. than before.. when most everyone experiences more rigor of finding the next meal.. and even the next spigot.. or cup of water in hands as God’s chalice to feel the rain of life giving flow of blood through veins of human..
The hands are a chalice of both
giving and receiving..
and sadly
cell phones
have
replaced
human
hands..
overall..
glad to hear
you lend a hand
and a heart to remember
a dog.. a loved one’s name..
where now love lives
much greater
in dogs
overall
than
human
hands
sadly
as realistic AS
that is to all the
miles my eyes and
feel see now.. my friend…
4571
Chaaaaaaa! a Feeling to relate..
friend Rafiah..
Words.. Letters..
Symbols HouSinG..
Vehicles.. Vessels
expresSing discrete
labels for stuff..
and abstract
figurative
metaphors
for deeper
FEELING
LIFE..
Mechanical cognition.. the stuff
of balancing checkbooks..
solving two plus two..
and yes..
Chemistry equations
too.. material reductionism
in black and white concrete
ways of human mind cognition..
in executive functioning of focus
and short term working memory prowess..
People for the majority of my life describe the
inner workings of me as a computer working in
PERFECT SYNCH AS PROBLEM SOLVER.. FRED
THE GO TO GUY.. IF YOU NEED A PROBLEM SOLVED..
YES.. FRED.. PROBLEM SOLVED.. PROBLEM IS THERE
IS an entire other hemisphere of human being in ways far
far beyond.. the Standard Intelligence Measures of school
grades intelligence.. NO.. Standard IQ does not
touch the intelligence of moving
connecting and creating..
the stuff that GOD does
first with Dark.. then with
LIgHT.. THEN WITH MOVEMENT
OR DANCE.. THEN WITH SOUND
OR SonG CONNECTioNS CREATinG
ALLTHATISNSIDEOUTSIDEABOVESOBELOW
YESALLROUNDASONEINFINITYNOWJUSTNOW..
THAT’
S a long word
but GOD is much
much bigger than
words and yes.. so are
we.. in fact all words are idols
for reality in moving connecting
and creating WitH eYes of GOD
manifest as human being NOW
yes.. again.. JUSTNOW.. so
yeah.. while some folks
are solving
problems
others are simply
moving connecting
and creating and
being
what is
truly Manifest
of GOD ALL of
creation
as
moving connecting
and creating human being..
and all other animals too..
yes.. almost my entire life is
one of input and solving equations..
and what is missing is the expression
of non-verbal and verbal human communication..
but that takes practice.. as does the imagination
and creativity of human physical
and emotional intelligences..
truly THE MOVIE AVATAR..
is a great example of what
mechanical cognition is
doing to the human heARt
iN SpiRit expresSinG..
FEELing ThAT
HEaRT of
EmoTiON
of us and all
others and
NATURE TOO
AKA GOD ALL..
iN balancing
mind and body
soUl as human
eyes come in
balance
wITh
instead of
AGAINST
the gravity
of GOD as
ONEFOrce
instead of
dividing mind..
body.. heart..
spirit.. and soul..
repressing human moving..
connecting and creating
in any subjugating or
controlling way..
either internally
or externally
oppressing muting
human being maniFesTinG
GOD on this terrestrial plane…
IN THE MOVIE ‘AVATAR’ THE ‘REAL
PEOPLE’ ARE ONE WITH NATURE IN
A GARDEN OF EDEN.. AND A HUMAN WHO
IS SOMEWHAT SEPARATE FROM THE MECHANICAL
COGNITION OF HIS ‘IQ SUPERIORS’ IS ABLE TO
MOVE.. CONNECT.. AND CREATE AGAIN AS
MUCH FULLER HUMAN BEING.. the little
creatures like fairy angel beings that
fly around him is the human
heArt FeeLinG tHe spiRit of
GOD as Nature
reflectTinG
back
THat as same..
hE becomes one
with his new MUCH FREER
FRIENDS AS NATURE ONE
WITH GOD.. AND THEN
HE IS MASTER OF
RELATIVE HUMAN
FREE WILL.. HiM
TOTALLY FREE
TO EXPrESS SPIRIT
FEEL THE HEART
AND HEART OF
OTHERS AND
BALANCE
MIND AND BODY
IN WAYS OF MOVinG
CONNECTinG AND
CREATinG LIVinG
ALIVeNoW..
It’s hard for me to
answer to the question
marks fully but in just
seeing your face.. just one
time before you erase it..
it matters not as it
is etched in my heart
and soul now.. and in
your eyes i see the empath
you are that explains more fully
why you are perhaps the only
one who has stuck with me as friend
this long online.. without abandoning me
now and then.. but as i was before.. i have no real
way to express what i am inside.. and am overwhelmed
with emotions that are killing me to express outside in ways
of moving connecting and creating.. and sure i need not
express my path again.. as you’ve heard it all too much
before.. but i do what i can friend.. when
ever i hear.. you heart.. spirit and soul
calling with one
word
or two
eyes and
a smile
my friend
just from
photographic
memory for
eyes and smiles..
and empath
souls..
we all have our unique
journeys and paths with
Allah GOD guidDinG us..
within all innate instinctual
intuitively just doing tHiS Now..
yours may be totally
different than
mine to
come
to
a similar
place.. but @age
22.. you still are
a young
babe..
with an
Infinity of
potential still far ahead
but always now for
you
my friend..
there is no doubt
in my mind that you
will go far.. but each
moment of ALL
N0Ws
is worth aLL
the dArk and
liGht that leads
one further
NOWs
WitH
GOD..:)
Hi thefeatheredsleep..
Tribal innate instinctual
intuitive way of
human being
true or
false..
whatever
sticks ’em
together
iSglue
of humankind..
ethics matter
not when
gLue of
social
roles
is
staKinG
deep..
ONlY
FRIGgInG
ANSWER iS
ONe TRIBE OF
SOMEtHinG
ASINSTINCT
ISALWAYS
HERE
TOSTAY..
SOYEAH..
i say a tribe of dance…
but sadly theRe iS A camel
of cultureS IN A way.. and
a pin prick of dance
to
move
aWay
or
cLose..
sMiLes..
so yeS…
i readDiLY
admiT i am
a PENpRiCK
and or Fred
eRicKnow..;)
5415
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About katiemiafrederick

I like to write.