418
ForinfinitYtimenoW
One
Falls
Asleep
@1 AM
With
NO
@
IVAN
SINCE
4272008
In Ascent
From Bottom
of Pit of 'Hell' of no
Sleep.
After 40 Days...
Finding Pure White Light
of Pearl and Ebony Last
Night before and after 8 PM
Yellow Boy Scratches Door
Leading
to Hour 7
of
AM
7182013
Waking
Message Publishing @8 AM
Seven Eighteen
4
For
July
7
18
2013
Sixty
Seven Post
67
One Who Walks in
Light Discerns Light
From
Dark
IN
EYES
AND WORDS
Burning
Fire
of
Heart-N
EverluKewarM
NowonefoRevermorE
LIGHT!!1
9
NAUTILUS
6
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SApGpWf2dg
To my two new friends
of Light of yesterday
and others who
continue
to
inspire
this
message!
The path to light is not of hate or judgement!
I you and others ONE
fight and fought
this darkness
won and win!!
Your
message
here
is beautiful..
your love
along with the love
of others
brings me to the point
of message below
and here Now!
I honor your light
in that message
as well
as my black friend
of Stranger
I see last night
as ebony light
and you for light
of pearl!
http://foodpeople
loveandstuff.
wordpress.com/
This light is growing in the world everywhere; there will be a day when light conquers darkness foroneallnowforevermore!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76ubhy1y_2E
Today was a wonderful day of
celebration for me.
I have risen from the ashes
like a Phoenix
since 2006
when
I
started a path of
human exhaustion
leading to many health
problems culminating in
a place I can only describe as
'Hell' on earth at the bottom of
a span of 1 hour of sleep each night
for 35 days and 5 at the end of 40 with
no sleep at all.
In beginning of March 2008 I developed
a type of atypical nerve pain behind my
right eye that was like someone stabbing
me in the eye 24/7 for 5 years until I started
this spiritual journey March 1, 2013, with
this blog starting on March 10, 2013.
I played the song
above in 2007 creating
the music to attempt to
re-attach my emotions that
were lost to severe and unrelenting
stress as an Athletic Director of
a military installation.
There was a Female Captain
that no one could please, who
took me and many others through
a metaphorical journey of hell at work.
There is no drug that will
touch the type of nerve pain I experienced.
The only solution was to kill the
nerve in my face; which
I could not face as
there could be
paralysis.
From March 2008
until November 26th 2010
my eyes also would not
make tears which
was the equivalent
of swimming
in salt
water
with
eyes open.
I spent many days, months..
eventually 2 and a half years..
thinking..I could not
read..listen to music
watch TV; there was
only thinking.
I was
not able
to listen to music
until I started this
journey too, as the
nerve pain affected my
ears too.
At the start of this journey
my goal was to once again
be able to visit and enjoy the
beautiful Gulf Island National
Seashore that is one of the most
beautiful paradises that exist on this
earth.
In my journey of typing on the internet
starting in November 2010 I find
the ability to withstand the pain
of the light of the screen
taking the mind off the
pain exploring logical
discussions with many
people on the internet.
I spent years of roaming that beach
as a young man and child.
It is the same beach that
is recorded in the video
'Captain of Her Heart' I link
in the Revelation 66 post.
This journey of blog
works to reconnect my
emotions, and love both
spiritual and human affection.
I uploaded the piano music I created
from a dictation device, that started
my ability to listen to music again
in March of this year.
The music that is favorite for my younger
years re-attached the emotion with
mind and language allowing me
to ultimately connect to my family again.
Along the way I found my spiritual life
again, finding the ecstasy of
spirit at a level I have
never experienced
before in my life.
At the start of
rise out of
ashes I was
having to take
4 MG of Ativan
to sleep at night
with the eye pain.
My pain is at a low enough
level where I finally celebrated
a night without any Ativan last
night after a slow and painful
weaning of this most powerful
anti-anxiety medication.
It saved my life to
sleep but almost
destroyed my
ability to
feel or
remember
emotions.
I am diagnosed
with a form of Autism
where I was a non-verbal
child until age 4.
I have always had difficulty
with emotion and language,
but I did not ever
think I would
get them
back
with that pain
that lasted
24/7...
there
was
only pain
and empty discussions
of rationality on the internet.
In this spiritual journey
that went into full speed
on 4/27/2013 with
a post called Autism
and the Nautilus
I lost most of
the pain
and regained
as much strength
in body and spirit
as I have had all my life.
That picture of the beach
is were I landed at the end of this
day with my wife and I again
enjoying this wonderful
paradise of beach.
I looked at it in pictures so long
but being there with eyes without
pain was pure bliss.
I stood trancing at the
waves coming in
matching the
waves I feel
in mind
as now
I connect
to a place
that is almost
magical with
connection of
one and all
in mind.
If God had
took me then
my life would be
complete.
But..
it's
not time
to go yet. :)
My wife is 43 and
she is as beautiful as she
ever was at 19 when I met her
at age 29.
I marveled at her
beauty as she walked the
beach and found a nautilus
type shell for me with
my favorite shape
of 6 of golden
spiral.
When we
capture it
with photo I am
going to link it here
at the top of this topic
to represent this pure white
shell I find myself in soul now.
I went to the doctor today and the
health is wonderful again.
My testosterone was a problem
when there was pain but is
now measured at 666 the patterns
of 6 I like so much because
there are three in my birthday.
Feeling as this number represents
the golden spiral along with 9 for life.
I recently find that there is a pattern
of flow of words of speech and typing
that match this ratio of life too.
One can see it in the shapes
that form in my typing throughout
this blog as the songs
of Nautilus Golden Ratio sing in
the archetype of mind and
Universe with me one and all.
My song I created on the
piano was at the start of this
struggle to keep my soul.
It is interesting to
me too, as close
to midpoint in my
music the mood changes
to uplifting instead of pensive.
I explore these many archetypes of
mind and culture in this blog.
In linking the you tube videos
it brought me to this
wonderful dark haired woman
and stallion of black on the desert.
The Woman favors my
wife very much.
I feel that she is like this
woman taking the black
horse that was soul
carrying across the desert
to meet it's life again on the beach
that always was so much of soul to me.
I experience great joy, deep sadness,
true light spirit love and true will, with
the love of affection for my wife again
today all in one; once again
proving my soul and heart
of humanity.
The tears of joy stream down
my face
when I come to
this video and see the
whole of my wife who is
the guardian angel in this many
colored dresses taking me through
life guarding my soul no matter how
black it becomes after this pain that
is worse than any death I imagine
except for that death at the bottoms
of those last 5 of 40 days of no sleep;
a literal place of hell that is a thousand
years! in one moment!
I am thankful for every experience in life
as it takes me to this full
place of humanity and soul!
There is no possible way to
describe the happiness of
bliss I feel to be alive
on that beach again!
For anyone traveling
on this journey with me
in the background not speaking
I hope you feel my joy and can share
a part of it!
I am not sure what comes next but I am
ready for it!
Love and blessings true will to
all of you my friends!
KATiE MiA FredericK!
PEACE PRAYER FOR EAST AND WEST
IT
IS
All for Love
IT
rings true
backWord
forWard
Center Balance
of
One and All
The fight of west
against east
is
Prayer Peace
ALL One Sees Passion Life Sees One aLL
IS
Experiences
Ones Neither an Answer OR Question
Neither IS Question an Answer
Neither Ones Experiences IS
All
IS
All
One
All
Ah
Ones IS
Ya
Way
One
All
IS
All
...IS Experiences Ones…
...Ones Experiences IS…
aLL One Sees Life Passion Sees One ALL
Love
for
All
is
IT
IT
is
All
for
Love
ALL One Sees Passion Life Sees One aLL
...Ones Experiences IS…
...IS Experiences Ones…
All
IS
All
One
Way
Ya
IS Ones
Ah
All
One
All
IS
All
IS Experiences ones neither
Answer an Question IS Neither
Question OR Answer an Neither Ones
Experiences
IS
aLL One Sees Life Passion sees one ALL
Peace Prayer
Is
East Against
West of Fight The
All and One
of
Balance Center
forWard
backWord
true rings
IT
Love for All
IS
IT
WEST AND EAST FOR PRAYER PEACE
2:12AM
17767 Views
144 Spirit Days
since 3012013
134 Blog Days
since 3102013
131 Nature Days
since 3132013
85 days
since
Autism
and the
Nautilus
4272013
Okay,
now I am going to respond
with the meaning of life.
This is just
a different
approach
that is all.
I'm just trying to stretch
the boundaries here a little.
Move into the realm
of imagination.
It's part of God's plan.
Or whatever you
want to call the IS.
OREO THE MEANING OF LIFE
You are so logical.
It's interesting your logic started my story
when you saw my logic back in late February
inspiring life back into my words
with the word Synesthesia.
I meet this Poet
that inspires me
with their poetry
in the middle
and at the end
a girl
from Pakistan
understands most
of the
spiritual experience.
Three girls and a Nut.
BTW
my wife's name is Mut.
I might look
like a tall blonde haired guy
but I'm actually a Sky Goddess.
hAhaHaHeHuh
Mut is the Golden Girl
in Revelation 66.
'Trust me'
some of this stuff is in Wiki.
Wiki knows all..most...anyway...
Oreo started the whole story.
Oreo is a 6Lb cat;
a black and white tabby tuxedo mix
who walks with me around the block
at night.
Tonight Oreo
grabbed my leg
and said
hold on damn it
give me some credit
for saving your soul.
He is the true star
of my blog show.
This cat
is
amazing.
Tiny
little
thing
will not
back down
from humans
if he wants
to fight
another cat.
I am positive
that he is the one
that hurt Yellow Boy
in the beginning
causing him to stay
inside inspiring
that underlying
emotion
in that thought
in the first post
in my blog
I had with you
in the first part
of this private message
thread.
That was a really long sentence,
BTW.
Then he was the one that hurt Sunny Boy
leading to his demise
and the first
real awakening
of my emotions
in five years
in the post
Goodbye Sunny Boy.
Thanks God
Evil Loves
Devil Cat
Cat Lived
Loves live
God Thanks
Oreo,
the meaning of life
Yes,
this is going to be part
of the story
but you are going
to be identified
as the
anonymous
E-World
Samaritan.
I thought that part
might not
make this part
seem as sad.
7/24/2013
is the 16th
anniversary
of my Child's
death.
I vowed
that his spirit
would live in
my eyes
until my last
dying day.
I am still alive
and that child
still lives
in these words.
His name is Ryan.
The heat of my passion
to tell a story
that will not be easily
forgotten
by those
who were really
part of it
started on 6/4/2013.
That was Ryan's
16th birthday
as he lives
in my
eyes
and
words.
He touches
thousands of
people's lives
in this 32 month
online journey
in a rise from ashes.
Signed, Fred
just Fred.
Ryan
Frederick,
He is my royal baby
not the golden one.
The last child;
the hidden one.
The Son creates
the Father...
As I reach
the farthest Star...
Only fitting
Rexxxfit/White Pearl
that you helped
with the story
and an ending
happens
with you too.
Every letter
every word
is precious
in life.
And so are you.
I don't think
you will ever
know how much
your connection
in this life
means.
It's not mushy
it's true.
I'm balanced
like that....
what can I say.
Don't worry about
responding
you can't hide
your soul
from me.
You are
the
second
person
to see this.
White Pearl
will be the third.
Fair and balanced
too. and three...
Oops...
I forgot the title:
OREO
THE MEANING
OF LIFE
I had to Giggle
considering the titles
of the last three posts…
Smiles...
Some days
it's good
to giggle on google.
Think about the story.
The beauty
of bad
is good.
It really
happened.
7242013
4:00AM
18288 Views
147 Spirit Days
since 3012013
137 Blog Days
since 3102013
134 Nature Days
since 3132013
88 days
since
Autism
and the
Nautilus
4272013
51 Ryan
Days
since
6042013
16 years
51 Days
16
Years
Livingin
MyEyes
Words
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhat-xUQ6dw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwlsziopzmQ
Hi Victoria!
First of all,
I'd like to say I enjoy looking at your face;
it is all love;
it reminds me of my mother’s face!
Secondly,
I hope you don't mind
if I share a little story on your blog.
I think that might be against blog rules
but I find myself bending them sometimes.
When I was a small child
my natural state of being was love.
People saw it in my eyes
and shared it with me.
Going to middle school
the boys told me
boys cannot smile.
There was an internal battle
losing love
to be a man.
Finding work at a Bowling Center
I was told as a man
I get paid to smile at customers.
For two decades my state of being
is love again!
As a supervisor
I was told
you don't smile at employees
too much
if you want to be respected.
The light of love
grows dimmer for me.
When my vision dimmed
and pain replaced smiles
another obstacle
to be and share love.
How would I do that in words again
to once again be love?
Finding a White Pearl in a blog
she provides the answer once again!
Hey love;
I love you more;
Love ya more later!
She is a 21 year old Islam girl.
I am a 53 year old man
from the west.
A complete stranger with no face;
only words she saw love in reciprocating same.
She bes love I bes love we bes love I share love now.
Hey love;
Love you friend;
love you more later!
Visit her blog
if one wants to see
love being in words!
It is linked in my Oreo story.
It is quite contagious.
I am now the love flu too.
You can share it too.
But wait!!
You already have it!
By the way,
the letter K,
in general,
is my favorite letter.
It is Alpha across many cultures.
You show it as Omega here too;
lying hidden on the left side of the table.
Peace to you always and love my friend.
And finally,
thank you for this love muse;
I'm glad I subscribed to your blog.
Now I have another peace; of my blog too!
I am going to link this post there in these words.
I always honor those who inspire me.
http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2013/07/28/kavannahintention-monday-meanderings/
now I am going to respond
with the meaning of life.
This is just
a different
approach
that is all.
I'm just trying to stretch
the boundaries here a little.
Move into the realm
of imagination.
It's part of God's plan.
Or whatever you
want to call the IS.
OREO THE MEANING OF LIFE
You are so logical.
It's interesting your logic started my story
when you saw my logic back in late February
inspiring life back into my words
with the word Synesthesia.
I meet this Poet
that inspires me
with their poetry
in the middle
and at the end
a girl
from Pakistan
understands most
of the
spiritual experience.
Three girls and a Nut.
BTW
my wife's name is Mut.
I might look
like a tall blonde haired guy
but I'm actually a Sky Goddess.
hAhaHaHeHuh
Mut is the Golden Girl
in Revelation 66.
'Trust me'
some of this stuff is in Wiki.
Wiki knows all..most...anyway...
Oreo started the whole story.
Oreo is a 6Lb cat;
a black and white tabby tuxedo mix
who walks with me around the block
at night.
Tonight Oreo
grabbed my leg
and said
hold on damn it
give me some credit
for saving your soul.
He is the true star
of my blog show.
This cat
is
amazing.
Tiny
little
thing
will not
back down
from humans
if he wants
to fight
another cat.
I am positive
that he is the one
that hurt Yellow Boy
in the beginning
causing him to stay
inside inspiring
that underlying
emotion
in that thought
in the first post
in my blog
I had with you
in the first part
of this private message
thread.
That was a really long sentence,
BTW.
Then he was the one that hurt Sunny Boy
leading to his demise
and the first
real awakening
of my emotions
in five years
in the post
Goodbye Sunny Boy.
Thanks God
Evil Loves
Devil Cat
Cat Lived
Loves live
God Thanks
Oreo,
the meaning of life
Yes,
this is going to be part
of the story
but you are going
to be identified
as the
anonymous
E-World
Samaritan.
I thought that part
might not
make this part
seem as sad.
7/24/2013
is the 16th
anniversary
of my Child's
death.
I vowed
that his spirit
would live in
my eyes
until my last
dying day.
I am still alive
and that child
still lives
in these words.
His name is Ryan.
The heat of my passion
to tell a story
that will not be easily
forgotten
by those
who were really
part of it
started on 6/4/2013.
That was Ryan's
16th birthday
as he lives
in my
eyes
and
words.
He touches
thousands of
people's lives
in this 32 month
online journey
in a rise from ashes.
Signed, Fred
just Fred.
Ryan
Frederick,
He is my royal baby
not the golden one.
The last child;
the hidden one.
The Son creates
the Father...
As I reach
the farthest Star...
Only fitting
Rexxxfit/White Pearl
that you helped
with the story
and an ending
happens
with you too.
Every letter
every word
is precious
in life.
And so are you.
I don't think
you will ever
know how much
your connection
in this life
means.
It's not mushy
it's true.
I'm balanced
like that....
what can I say.
Don't worry about
responding
you can't hide
your soul
from me.
You are
the
second
person
to see this.
White Pearl
will be the third.
Fair and balanced
too. and three...
Oops...
I forgot the title:
OREO
THE MEANING
OF LIFE
I had to Giggle
considering the titles
of the last three posts…
Smiles...
Some days
it's good
to giggle on google.
Think about the story.
The beauty
of bad
is good.
It really
happened.
7242013
4:00AM
18288 Views
147 Spirit Days
since 3012013
137 Blog Days
since 3102013
134 Nature Days
since 3132013
88 days
since
Autism
and the
Nautilus
4272013
51 Ryan
Days
since
6042013
16 years
51 Days
16
Years
Livingin
MyEyes
Words
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhat-xUQ6dw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwlsziopzmQ
Hi Victoria!
First of all,
I'd like to say I enjoy looking at your face;
it is all love;
it reminds me of my mother’s face!
Secondly,
I hope you don't mind
if I share a little story on your blog.
I think that might be against blog rules
but I find myself bending them sometimes.
When I was a small child
my natural state of being was love.
People saw it in my eyes
and shared it with me.
Going to middle school
the boys told me
boys cannot smile.
There was an internal battle
losing love
to be a man.
Finding work at a Bowling Center
I was told as a man
I get paid to smile at customers.
For two decades my state of being
is love again!
As a supervisor
I was told
you don't smile at employees
too much
if you want to be respected.
The light of love
grows dimmer for me.
When my vision dimmed
and pain replaced smiles
another obstacle
to be and share love.
How would I do that in words again
to once again be love?
Finding a White Pearl in a blog
she provides the answer once again!
Hey love;
I love you more;
Love ya more later!
She is a 21 year old Islam girl.
I am a 53 year old man
from the west.
A complete stranger with no face;
only words she saw love in reciprocating same.
She bes love I bes love we bes love I share love now.
Hey love;
Love you friend;
love you more later!
Visit her blog
if one wants to see
love being in words!
It is linked in my Oreo story.
It is quite contagious.
I am now the love flu too.
You can share it too.
But wait!!
You already have it!
By the way,
the letter K,
in general,
is my favorite letter.
It is Alpha across many cultures.
You show it as Omega here too;
lying hidden on the left side of the table.
Peace to you always and love my friend.
And finally,
thank you for this love muse;
I'm glad I subscribed to your blog.
Now I have another peace; of my blog too!
I am going to link this post there in these words.
I always honor those who inspire me.
http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2013/07/28/kavannahintention-monday-meanderings/
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